Alternate Bio 8

Brook is a student in college by day and an unwitting angel of the homeless by night. Although she remembers her action as dreams, it is in fact she who is the legendary Whispered One, providing what small comforts she can to the homeless across America beneath her preferred cloak of darkness. The vagrants that rise in the morning with fluffed-up pillows under their heads where only cold concrete was when they drifted off murmur small prayers of thanks to her upon waking.

And woe be unto the bored sociopath teen who seeks to harm her charges–for not all angels are always cherubic.

-Bearshaman

Alternate Bio 7

Aaron is a student in his fifteenth year of college who holds legal residence in roughly fifty-two countries. This one time, he got a fortune from this fortune cookie that dropped his jaw and changed his life. He’s been chasing his enigmatic dream of “good luck will find its way to you” ever since.

Alternate Bio 6: Teacher Edition

Alain Jackson was a man. Yes, until that fateful day he held aloft his grade book to the heavens and repeated the ancient spell, “Work without doing,” and his consciousness ascended to the Jade Mountain. Nowadays, he astrally projects himself into the classroom from the Nirvana Realm and no one is the wiser.

-Bearshaman

Alternate Bio 5

Alexis is a lioness of erudition at her local college. Unbeknownst to her, she is also the only student at her local college. The reptiloids have successfully infiltrated the school and replaced all of her classmates, teachers, and even the turkeys that hang out on campus sometimes with life-like holograms. Alexis is currently in the process of being tested by these shadowy reptilian overlords. Luckily, she is passing, since the fate of humanity rests on her shoulders; and the nobility of her actions will determine whether or not the intercosmic lizard men explode our planet into space dust.

-Bearshaman

“May the Fourth” Indeed…

Look, I know the Galactic Empire isn’t perfect, but it is only in the firm grip of their iron grasp that I truly feel safe these days as an interplanetary citizen, what with all these rebels blowing up perfectly good tax-dollar-funded space stations and ships, along with the pilots of those vessels who were just trying to provide for their family with a nice government job.

All I’m saying is, my brother finally made it into the Imperial army, and now he can’t even go on leave to Cloud City–a place he has dreamed of visiting as long as I can remember–because any Imperial transport ship he could hitch a ride on is currently a target for these radicals.

I have no idea why these “freedom fighters” get such good press.

-Bearshaman

Alternate Bio 4

Beatrice is a student at college by day and something…well…something else by night. She has never been sure exactly what, though. She watches the sun set as dreams and the waking world intertwine, spinning a web of unreality around her. Things are mostly normal for Beatrice then, but ever-so-slightly off. Strangers walk up to her with mayonnaise on pieces of toast and eat it right in front of her face like it’s the most normal thing in the world. And all night long, bursts of blue phosphorescence explode into auras around the crowns on the heads of the hidden Kinborn. Also, she likes kitties and the occasional weekend jump rope.

-Bearshaman

Alternate Bio 3

Alanna is a student in her third year of college and also a being of pure energy. Ascendance came surprisingly easy to Alanna, the Fifteenth Divine Avatar of the One Beyond. Those who worship Hope are known to wear ornate Victorian handbells on woven metal chains around their necks–as did their parents, and their parents’ parents–in an attempt to curry Alanna’s favor and so receive her uncanny blessing.

-Bearshaman