Fat

Tonight I went out to the gym again

for the first time in a long time again,

but the available options were pretty lean,

with a line around the block for the chest machine.

So I went over to the treadmill and I got right in it

and I walked right in place for at least five minnit,

then my lower left thigh got really sore,

so I wiped away the sweat as I felt hardcore,

said bye to the lady from behind the desk

and I promised myself I’d work on my chest,

next time. Next time.


Backing out in my Echo I got quite a shock

from the Jack in the Box restaurant across the block

and I guess that you could say it was just my luck

cuz they were selling two tacos for just a buck.


I recalled a bag of quarters I’d forgot about

from the last time in the month that I’d gone out

to the arcade that I loved down in San Jose

that had been blown up by some damn dirty apes.


Grabbed the bag from the floor of the passenger’s seat

untouched for a few weeks by a passenger’s feet,

thought I had enough scrilla to buy a few

of those sweet gringo tacos that look like spew,

which didn’t really matter cuz I planned to park

nearby and eat those tacos right there in the dark.



Turns out I had enough for more than that

but I wasn’t really worried about getting fat

cuz I’d already gone to the gym today

but I got a fizzy water too just in case.


A dozen tacos later I was back at leisure

at home when I remembered Tillamook in the freezer

just three-quarters empty and getting colder

so I decided to save it from getting any older.


Put a spoon right in and I took a bite

delicious as ever but it wasn’t quite right,

looked down and the tub was three-quarters full,

did my duty anyway and I ate it all,


plus the stale cereal that was going bad

in the gallon of milk that was looking sad

plus the stale Winco chips that were aging fast, a

simple challenge with the aid of some diet Shasta.


I know it sounds like a lot but I’d like to say

it’s just fine cuz I went to the gym today.

-Bearshaman

Late-Night Movie Pitch

Lester is a man at the end of his rope–his own two brothers murdered one by one before his very eyes.

And he’s next.

It’s come down to this final race against the clock as he rushes to finish his time machine prototype before the killer tracks him down.

But can he save his brothers from their fate? Or will his meddling result in a world that no one wants to live in anymore?

It’s a new psychological thriller from the mind of Tim Burton.

Starring:

Johnny Depp as the murderous beast,

Helena Bonham Carter as the reluctant love interest who will eventually discover that her heart is still capable of love,

and Ving Rhames as:

The Third Little Piggie.

This summer you won’t want to miss the only movie guaranteed to blow…

you…

AWAY.

-Bearshaman

Some Rambling on Writing

Chatterdank7

You know that whole thing about writing every day and how everybody should do it?

I’m not sure I really agree with that. I mean, I’m sure it works for some people.

But I tend to think it’s more like muscle training: occasionally, you have to give it a rest. If you don’t, your muscles don’t recover properly and your progress doesn’t properly get saved.

Not to say that I wouldn’t love to be able to write something I could fall in love with every day of my life.

Another big factor in my experience is inspiration. If you don’t experience life, you can’t write about it. You can’t glean the glimmers if you never stumble upon them.

Not to mention there’s that whole¬†being able to achieve¬†a proper flow state thing. The key to unlocking a flow state at will seems to be squirreling itself into new hiding places around my brain each time I think I’ve got a firm grip on it.

In other news, I’m reading Redshirts right now and it’s hella good. My first Scalzi book.

Anyhow, done rambling.

Have a continually and increasingly groovy day!

-Bearshaman

“May the Fourth” Indeed…

Look, I know the Galactic Empire isn’t perfect, but it is only in the firm grip of their iron grasp that I truly feel safe these days as an interplanetary citizen, what with all these rebels blowing up perfectly good tax-dollar-funded space stations and ships, along with the pilots of those vessels who were just trying to provide for their family with a nice government job.

All I’m saying is, my brother finally made it into the Imperial army, and now he can’t even go on leave to Cloud City–a place he has dreamed of visiting as long as I can remember–because any Imperial transport ship he could hitch a ride on is currently a target for these radicals.

I have no idea why these “freedom fighters” get such good press.

-Bearshaman