A Brief History of, and an Opinion on, the Reptiloid Arms Race

No one is sure when the Bushlakks and the Klin-tonns first began hostilities; but it is known that the horrific battle between these two reptilian overlord race-clans has been recorded since man first put burnt stick to cave wall.

The Bushlakks claim it was a male Klin-tonn’s seduction of a particularly pneumatic Bushlakkian queen-to-be that ignited the powder keg. The Klin-tonns, in turn, claim the Bushlakks started the feud by colonizing several Klin-tonnian planets which just so happened to already be colonized.

Who shot first is unimportant. Who shoots last is the order of the day.

The necessary astral components align once more. The touched ones dream of new cyclopean architecture and equally alien streams of logic. The cursed ones try their damnedest to ignore the incoherent runes they see glowing on the bodies of passers-by.

Given substance by the hopes and dreams of the unknowing chattel of the state, the legendary and still cursed Castle Blanc has phased in yet again from its nearby shadow dimension.

Once more, the battle will be fought, as it has so many times before, as it will so many times to come. But new schemes threaten the welfare of the universe in this newest reptiloid arms race. Drastic measures are sought by both sides to ensure the eradication of their opponent.

Of course, a reptilian overlord cannot die, not without being reborn. Or so we have been told. But passing by a carelessly open door to the great hall of the old gods, one hears forbidden chants sung in the round: eldritch words, half-speakable, more felt than heard. B’engh’azi, B’engh’azi, B’eck, L’im Bau’gh. A new madness looms and hearts open and close while eyes grow on the inside as the minions work feverishly to find a way to stop rebirth.

Will the ancient ones throw in their own lots? Will the cycle of rebirth be prevented? And will the universe accept such meddling without changing forever in the process?

The great forgotten lizard sighs and the embers carried on its breath ignite the world once more.

May the old ones favor your blades, mighty reptiloids, and may you one day finally know peace.



  1. Perhaps my favorite piece you’ve written yet (and you have many gems) Great f*ckin’ job! Not just the clever words, the brilliant execution, but that you conjure this up in your imagination. Blows me away, B’ear’sham’an!

    • Aawwww thanks man! It means a lot to hear that from you.

      I always feel overly connected to a piece when I first write it so I have trouble looking at it objectively until time has passed. Feedback is super valuable.

      I was in a flow state when I wrote this one yesterday, so it felt like it came out good, but I wasn’t sure.

      We all gotta keep writin’!

      Miss ya, man!

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